By Akilah Sunrise
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May 29, 2020
Fix IT: You're enlightened but you're living your best lie... So many so-called conscious and righteous folks are out here doing the very things in their personal lives that those whom so many of us claim we want to help enlighten are doing. People's personal lives are a hot ass mess out here. We knowingly walk right into situations that do not serve our greatest good in an effort to drown out internal pain and struggles, seeking answers in places they are not meant to be found, and then justify them by claiming to have been led there by our instincts. Whether you say it was Spirit, God, the Universe or whatever, stop lying to yourself because it's BS. Stop the BS. Most people are wearing a mask, and just like the drug addict and alcoholic, they mask their pain by making poor life choices, overindulging in distractions, hidden promiscuity, overspending, relationship hopping, creating worse situations for themselves because they seek temporary fixes to an underlying problem that never goes away, because it’s never fully addressed. Past scars keep resurfacing so patterns are continuously repeated. And you call yourself Righteous Follow Me… A great friend of mine told me that when she decided she wanted to become an ordained Minister, her Pastor was excited, even wanted to assist her with paying for theology school, but what he informed her that she had to do first was incredible. He told her before you can go and Minister to others you have to FIRST fix yourself. He told her that before he would allow her in front of congregants she had to go to counseling FIRST and work out all of her issues. One of the problems that many of us want to be “Gurus” and “Leaders” and alleged “Healers” have is that when we find a body of truth that we think is good for us, we believe we have all that we need. We think because we have read a bunch of books and seen powerful YouTube videos that we have all the answers, and now we can “minister” to others. This actually appeals to a lot of people who are in the most need of therapy; they can’t wait to save others but have failed to save themselves. They forget to put on their oxygen mask, first. You can’t wait to share this truth, to wake people up but yet what many fail to do is start with self first! When did you take the time to heal your past issues and scars? Did you address your toxic behaviors? Or were you blinded by the number of people actually listening to you, and the addiction got real! You were likely intoxicated by the fact that people listened to you. They find your words profound; it’s like a new purchase that you can’t wait to show off to others. But you haven’t healed, you bandage yourself up, and you go about the world trying to enlighten others. Oh, but when the trials and test come, what’s your score? Have you met my Representative? Many of us approach our new found enlightenment like a new relationship. Those first three months are usually the honeymoon stage, and it always comes to an end once reality sets in and we realize it takes actual work to sustain. When you reach what we deem to be a certain level of enlightenment, your self-work does not end. It begins with you. This world offers a plethora of temptations, evil has been made fair-seeming, and those unhealed parts of you tune right into the lure of negativity and unrighteousness. When you fail to “Fix” all those demons inside and address those generational traumas that have been passed down through nature and nurture, those cracks in the armor will only spread and get larger when pressure is applied. Although there are people who will appreciate knowing that you struggle just like them, they will even applaud your long social media post acknowledging that you are just as fallible as everyone else. But what you also show them is that the truth that you claim has helped you to be a better person, really hasn't worked so well in your life. Your words are pretty but what about your actions? We have a problem people, and albeit we are human, and thus will endure drama, most of which is dropped in our laps. It is how we deal with it that separates the truly enlightened and healed person (healing is infinite) from the unhealed souls. When your living testimony shows a transformation in and out of the public the “Truth” you teach becomes more palatable and credible because you live a life according to the truth you profess. When you attempt to lead a life above the fray, it’s challenging when you don’t address your issues because there is a cesspool of pain all around us, and your ability to attract other hurt souls, makes you susceptible to falling in and reverting back to piss poor decisions. It will have you walking around with your actions not matching your words. Your audience waits though, and when your dirt is exposed they will gloat, laugh and criticize you for doing the exact same things they are doing. Misery loves company. This is why it’s important in our efforts to lead others, and to share wisdom, that our words must, in fact, match our actions. You cannot use social platforms as your therapy chair. Of course, we can inspire others through the things that we overcome, and sharing our stories is great and likely helpful, BUT if you keep sharing your stories, and it’s the same story over and over, the same misguided patterns, you are showing that you truly haven’t learned. You are like the boy/girl that cried wolf. Your credibility is lost. Go and get yourself fixed. If you want to share that journey great but sharing your toxic patterns repeatedly does no real good for anyone really. Sure people may resonate with your story, and feel they are not alone, but what solutions have you genuinely shown if you haven’t truly changed? Commiserating over misery is pointless, and fruitless. Fix It! It seems at times the ones we think need the most help, are the ones living a transparent life. They are not hiding their indiscretions, hell the ignorant are usually loud and proud of their less than savory ways. Yet, the righteous and so-called woke folks are covering things up, living their best lie, and as soon as it's revealed they are deemed hypocrites because they had the audacity to try to preach and teach others how to lead a life that they are in fact not leading. Many are still unfaithful to their spouses, walk away and hurt people, abuse people, abuse power the list goes on. At the end of the day, we are human and fallible and will make errors and bad judgment calls. Most operate from an emotional space, and without logic and sound reasoning. This isn’t a judgment, it’s encouragement to go out and “Fix” yourself, and be who you really claim to be. Go out and spread powerful messages, change the world but before you go out and save others…fix yourself. Most people are forgiving after a while, so it’s never too late to “Fix” yourself. This doesn’t mean you will not have to constantly deal with the punches life throws at you, and it doesn’t mean that you won’t deal with stress, or loss nor are you expected to be emotionless and unbothered. You just need to “fix” it. We really can’t be a true aid to others if we don’t help ourselves first. The term “Woke” has been used so much that it is a part of pop culture phrases. Most people aren’t truly awakened they are merely walking around in a dream-like state. Awake before you die, many die before they awake. I leave you with this Haiku: Noble are your words But do they reflect the truth Of your real actions.